pain

Pain. One of the most important sensations a body needs. It warns of potential problems in the body...provided some schmuck who managed to stay sober at least part-way through medical school can find something wrong. Nutshell version, I have been in some kind of pain I would say 95% of the time for about ten years. Every joint in my body becomes inflamed at least once in a couple of weeks. Every once in a while its just a fun-fest when everything acts up at the same time. Here is a general run-down, then I will get to my main point: I have tendonitis in my foot, both of my ankles are weak and are given to giving out when I least expect it, both my knees are fucked up, to the point that one is currently waking me up in the middle of the night and is really hot to the touch, my back has been wrecked since I was a teenager and a couple of car accidents didn't help, my hip just hurts and has actually gone out of joint and was agitated by a bout of domestic violence (but not my Beloved), my shoulder goes wonky on me to the point that sometimes i can't lift a glass, my neck is so fucked up a neurosurgeon said that basically I shouldn't be walking, and a more recent development, I'm getting gnarly headaches.

Before you break out those little violins and ask what kind of cheese I want with my whine, let me tell you I don't let any of that stop me. I walk nearly everywhere I go, I chase after Baby Genius, I'm planning a wedding and I'm in school full-time, so I'm not just sitting here like a dork with nothing better to do than keep up this blog. My real point is this...of the countless doctors I've seen regarding this pain, none of them can come up with a conclusion?? I've had countless x-rays, with doctors saying nothing except something to the effect of "Yep, that's a knee (or shoulder, ankle, hip, what have you)" and prescribing me really addictive substances, which don't take the pain away but only make me high, and it's really not even enough to make me not care about it. I feel I've fallen victim to being a tool for a doctors and pharmecutical companies to make money. I've even been asked if anybody has told me I have cancer! With of course, making no move to find out. So goes the American health system.

I know an older woman that will NOT allow her doctors to prescribe her more than one medication, which she takes for high blood pressure. Her reason was that one of her friends was on literally dozens of medications for various maladies and at her friend's funeral, she heard that when the coroner opened her body, basically her insides had just turned to gel. As you may well know, there is a drug for every ailment, no matter how trivial it may seem, if there can be an acronym made out of what's out there, there is a pill for it, and if that makes you nervous, don't worry, ther's a pill for that, too.

That's why I am not only for a centralized national healthcare system, but also more of a DIY approach, and the legalization of medicinal marijuana, which is the only thing that makes the pain fucking go away. Doctors are only advisors and not really that great of advisors, because they are human and greed sets in with them, too. Will I ever find out why I have this kind of problem? I seriously doubt it. Will I find a doctor that is willing to listen to me and take my wishes into consideration? Um...no. Will I keep racking up outragous medical bills for emergency room visits, because I have no other choice, only to have the docs there tell me they don't know, and be looked at as a pill-shopper? Probably.